More Love, Less Shade – How To Stay Inspired In A Competitive Enviroment

This is a topic that has been super heavy on my heart lately. I’ve been going back and forth on whether to share it or not but then one of my favorite influencers, Courtney from Color Me Courtney said something really great on her instastories the other day, “You’ll Never Shine Throwing Shade”. It really inspired me to write this because more than likely you guys feel this way too!

Outfit Details: Tee: Nordstrom | Blazer: Nordstrom | Jeans: MUST HAVE! Nordstrom | Heels: Nordstrom | Handbag: Louise and Eleanor | Sunglasses: Target

I’m not sure how many bloggers you guys personally follow. Maybe I should survey you all to get your feedback but since I am in the influencer realm, naturally I follow dozens and dozens of fellow bloggers. Fortunately, I have become really close friends with so many of them. Think of them like your coworkers that you meet in the workplace and then end up being life long friends with. It’s exactly like that. These are the girls you will see me share and you will see me hanging out with. To people on the outside it may seem that the community is all rainbows and sunshine. I wish it was but unfortunately just like the workplace there are those that are…well let’s just say people I wouldn’t want to associate myself with in the workplace. You feel me?

Being in the industry I’ve seen shade thrown left and right but the last few weeks I have seen it more than ever and personally it’s over the most petty of things.

I have seen too many bloggers throwing shade about how other bloggers are promoting certain things. Rule #1 You can’t be all “women supporting women” and at the same time be talking s#$@ about women doing their thing. That is shade, you guys. The shadiest of all shade. I am a super positive person but I can’t help but listen to these shade throwers thinking “are you jealous?”, “why are you even spending time talking ill about someone else when you should be worrying about your own business?”.

It’s okay to disagree with what someone else is doing and it’s okay to not want to do it yourself but leave it at that. Do you and let her do her. No reason to talk negatively about someone. Stay focused on growing your own brand.

I was following this influencer for the longest time and so many times I’ve heard her complaining about other influencers. At first I would just swipe through her stories thinking she was having a bad day (everyone is allowed bad days!) but then I started to realize the complaining was so constant but the icing on the cake was when I realized she was the co founder of a reasonably large influencer community. Like hold up! Are you empowering women or bringing them down?

I don’t want to get too heated on this platform where I try to stay positive 🙂 lol so I’ll leave you with a few things you can keep in mind. Good for those in the influencer world, good for those running a business and just as good for those trying to live a positive life.

Throwing Shade Won’t Make You Shine– spending time and energy speaking negatively about someone else is simply a waste of time. That time could be used productively building your brand.

There is room for everyone– the amazing thing about blogs and businesses are the individuals behind them. So essentially if someone is selling the “same” item, it is truly the person(s) behind the business that makes them different and you choose who you support. I can’t help but feel like the negativity from some people comes from a place of feeling competition. The amazing thing about you is that you are you and no one else is exactly like you. You can choose to be competitive or you can choose to be collaborative. You may get to the top either way but the collaborative route is just way more fun and you’ll have an amazing community to celebrate with in the end!

The number of followers doesn’t define you but the people you follow kind of does– Think about it. It’s like your group of friends. People you associate yourself with starts to define the way you view yourself. Choose a supportive group of women who uplift you not crush down your wildest dreams. Anything is possible when you put your mind to it, don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise.

Remember why you started your blog or your business and stay focused– You didn’t start it to get caught up in the drama. You started it for so many other reasons whether it be to inspire working Mom’s, spreading your personal story or simply because you wanted to bring in additional income for your family. You will not achieve any of those things as quickly as you want to if you get sucked into drama.

Why did I share this? I was beginning to get irritated and uninspired because all of this negativity that was floating around the social media world. As a influencer, you can’t log off. Social media is part of your business. If you were starting to feel the same way I just wanted to pop on to remind you that we have a choice not to fall into that negativity.

Choose your tribe wisely. People who support you. People who motivate you. People who inspire you.

xo, Roselyn

Photos by Banavenue Photography