I felt like I needed to dedicate a post to all my single gals out here! As we head into a month that is all about celebrating love (plus it’s our wedding anniversary) I thought what more perfect time than now to share a little bit of my rocky road to love, haha! I always rave about how amazing my husband is (because he totally is!) but it was not smooth sailing to get here!
Some of you caught my Instagram story last month where I shared a little about my previous relationship. I received so many messages that people appreciated me sharing that so I wanted to put it here.on my blog. where it’s probably going to stay permanently so that all my single gals can read it, laugh and just relate to it all together after a bad date or break up.
See, before Brandon, I was engaged. It was young love and it all happened so fast that I had no doubt he was the one. We dated for about a year and a half and stayed engaged for another year. I don’t really share this but he’s the reason I moved to Houston. Well fast forward to 2012. He ended up being an alcoholic. There were more instances than I can count where he would just be gone for days at a time. I had no idea where he was, he would just turn off his phone and I would just go into work with my engagement ring on and people would ask me how wedding planning was going and I would be like “oh it’s going great”. NOT.
I vividly remember one of the many times he told me he was going to stay out of the bars. I don’t have a problem with going to a bar you guys but this was an every day routine. He would get off of work at 7am and a bar is where you would find him. Anyway, I remember one time when he told me he was going to stay out of bars that week. I was heading home from work, pumping gas and I see his truck pull into the bar across the street. So naturally, I call him and I’m like “hey I’m heading home, where are you?”. He replied “at the grocery store”. I immediately hung up and I drove right across the street and walked into where he was. Clearly all of the “regulars” knew who I was and my ex must have shared that he wasn’t supposed to be there because everyone just looked at me in complete shock when I walked in. It was like dead silence.
My ex got up, walked out and drove off. He didn’t drive home though. It was about 3 days until I even heard from him again.
For the last 6 months of our relationship we dealt with similar instances off and on. Everything would be going good and then something would happen that triggered an argument and then he would be #gonegirl. Well, I guess in this case, #goneboy.
It took me about 6 months to finally start thinking clearly. Previous to that I think I spent too much time reflecting on when our relationship was actually good and then for a while I started feeling like I couldn’t leave him in this condition. Who would help him break through his addiction if not me?
I will always remember this one morning waking up after about 5 days of not hearing from him and I didn’t have that feeling of “I hope he’s okay” like I had felt every other time. That was a moment of clarity. I hadn’t heard from my fiance for 5 days and I didn’t even care. That was definitely an eye opener telling me “it’s time to go”. It took me several months to get to that point. Up until then I was just making excuses for him and our relationship.
That day I rented a Uhaul, I packed up all of my stuff, moved in with my sweet friends and the rest is history. Well, sort of. He finally called me about a week later to ask where I was. I imagine that was the first time he had come home and saw my things missing. He had a lot of not-so-nice things to say to me at that point for “just up and leaving”. Trust me, I know I am not perfect but I knew that I deserved more.
Thank you, next.
Fast forward to 2013. Brandon and I’s friendship turned into so much more and now here we are, 2019, happily married and with the sweetest son. I’m not sure why we go through certain things in life but I am certain and can share from experience that it makes you appreciate things so much more and makes that happily ever after that much sweeter.
For my single girlfriends who have had your share of bad relationships, that prince charming is coming. That bad experience is a part of your story that you can laugh about later…I promise you’ll laugh later.
Enjoy that time you have as a single gal. Remember your worth. You know what you are capable of giving and you know what you deserve. If that person isn’t giving you exactly that?….thank you, next.